I got to spend my evening yesterday in court. Yay. Rachel was in an accident about 6 weeks ago and was ticketed. I felt that she shouldn’t have been, so I agreed to go to court with her. Court was most interesting, but first let me provide a little background on the accident itself. On her way to work one morning, she was approaching her exit off of 285 and was in the exit only lane. If you’re familiar with Atlanta, it was on the North perimeter and she was getting off on Peachtree Dunwoody Rd. That stretch of interstate is always congested through rush hour – which this was – so the 5 remaining traffic lanes were crawling along at perhaps 15 or 20mph. Given that she was in a wide open lane, Rachel was going almost the speed limit (55), heading for her exit. Well, a lady in the almost stopped traffic pulled out into her lane – without accelerating – a few car lengths in front of Rachel. Oh, and did I mention it was raining? It was raining. As if all of that wasn’t bad enough, the lady finally saw her, so she jammed on her brakes in panic. So, let me recap: A car suddenly appears only a few car lengths ahead of you, in the rain, with an approximately 30mph speed differential. Then they jam on their brakes. Well, it doesn’t take the Karnak The Magnificient to predict how that is going to turn out. And, of course, when the police show up they write Rachel a ticket for following too close. Never mind that the first thing the lady said to Rachel when she got out was “Oh my! I didn’t even see you!”

So it is that we found ourselves in the City of Dunwoody Municipal Court. My first indicator that this was not going to be your normal court session was the fact that it was held in a rented ballroom in a conference center. The room was packed WELL beyond capacity, and there was no sound system so you basically couldn’t hear anything. The first person to come in and address the room was the prosecutor. Very odd. He proceeded to tell everyone in very thinly disguised language that when the time came to enter their plea they should ask for a pre-trial and come see him. He would work with you to see if a lesser charge could be worked out. Since this was simply an arraignment hearing you were only there to enter a plea, not actually stand trial. I thought his speech was exceedingly odd, considering most Prosecutors don’t exactly advertise. Based on the fact that the he’d all but guaranteed a lesser charge, it was no wonder that literally 9 out of 10 (or more) people requested a pre-trial. And at the bench (folding table) it was obvious that they were geared for just that. They obviously planned on virtually every case to skip actual court. That the judge didn’t manage his courtroom at all only added to the circus atmosphere. People were standing in the back carrying on full, animated conversations, no one ever stood, they just shouted out their plea from their seats, and of the 100+ people I heard address the judge I heard perhaps 3 or 4 use the phrase “your honor.” I suppose that is at least partly understandable considering I’m not sure he was actually old enough to shave. At one point a middle eastern gentleman – and I use that term loosely here – actually shouted out from the back row – right in the middle of the judge’s opening address to the room – telling him to “speak up.” No please, thank you nothing. He just shouted “Speak Up!!!” rather rudely.

So they call the names alphabetically (we are in the “M’s”, sigh) so we had some time to watch the proceedings. It quickly became evident that the prosecutor – an older, white haired guy – was actually the one running the show. At one point, someone plead guilty and the judge actually stopped him and asked “Guilty? Are you sure? Wouldn’t you rather go see Mr (whatever the prosecutor’s name was)?” Um, wow. It did amuse me that some people plead guilty, since you can do that by mail rather than coming in and wasting your evening. My biggest chuckle of the night was the one person I saw actually plea not guilty. He was a youngish guy in a wife beater, covered with tattoos and hanging with a couple other guys, all flying matching colors. lol. Ummmm, ya, OK. Not guilty, got it. xP

So, when our time arrived, we asked for a pre-trial. We were ultimately herded off to a much smaller room which was now trying to hold the 90%+ of the crowd from the other room. It was, again, a circus. There were three prosecutors across the front of the room calling names out and talking to the people to make them an offer they couldn’t refuse. It was all very used car sales, if you know what I mean. It became obvious that they’d just split the stack up since one of the prosecutors was going alphabetically starting with A, another starting with H or so and the remaining one somewhere further down the alphabet. There was this one very annoying woman standing adjacent to us that kept protesting – loudly and indignantly – to no one in particular that they weren’t going in alphabetical order. She was obviously early in the alphabet. I finally got tired of hearing her complain – surely she wasn’t so stupid that she didn’t get why they were in the order they were in – so I patiently, and exceedingly politely, turned to her and explained that they were going in alphabetical order, but that each of them had a different portion of the stack. Her response? “Well, it ain’t right. We started this out alphabetically, they should keep it that way. I’m gon’ be here all night!” So, being the helpful person that I am, I politely pointed out that all of us had arrived at the same time and we would all like to go home. I even refrained from asking her why she thought she was so special (aren’t you proud?). That only drew a “whatever” as she bodily turned away from me. I just smiled and responded “whatever, indeed.” Another good deed done. She did stop complaining aloud, however, so I got what I wanted. I’m only mildly ashamed to admit that I took great delight in being called before her and leaving with her still standing there. I had to resist the urge to stop on the way out and say “M. My last name starts with an *M*. Buh-bye!” as I walked out past her. People like that really burn my biscuits.

So, anyway, back to the proceedings, the old guy – obviously in charge – was standing at a podium in the middle and obviously thought himself very funny, and he seemed to take great delight in embarrassing people. As this one guy he’d called approached him, he loudly said “Possession of marijuana, huh?” causing the whole room to titter, but I was horrified. To many other people he loudly explained what they’d done wrong, or responded mockingly to their proclamations of innocence, making sure the whole room heard it and heard his refusal to offer more than a minor concession.

But I did notice one thing odd: not once did they fail to offer some concession, no matter the charge. I’d also noticed that almost every traffic fine was the same – $189.00!! Failure to completely stop at a stop sign was even $189.00! Anywhere else that is a $30 or $40 fine tops. So, when we got up there – thankfully to one of the more civil prosecutors – and not the buffoon in the middle – Rachel calmly explained the circumstances of her situation. The prosecutor offered the same thing he’d offered pretty much everyone there – pay the fine, we don’t asses you points – and started writing it up before we’d even responded. I jumped in with, “No thanks. We’d like a court date. Jury trial, please.” He stopped writing and looked up and paused for a second before saying “OK, $150 and no points.” I reminded him that the lady ADMITTED it was her fault. No thanks. When is our court date? He countered with “$100, no points and reduce the charge to a rules violation.” I still wasn’t budging when he indicated that was as low as he was “allowed” to go. We told him we’d have to think about it and he passed our slip to the jerk in the middle while we did. I told Rachel that, were it me I would hold my nose and pay the fine; going to court is such a crap shoot and, if you lose, you get hit with the full $189.00 PLUS court costs PLUS the points which result in a *major* insurance hike. And if the woman DID come to testify, I’m certain she would not repeat that it was her fault. Oh, and she is pregnant, so she’d make a very sympathetic figure. Truth told, I doubt she’d show, and I suspect Rachel would win, but the stakes were just too high. Ultimately, she paid the $100 – well, I did for the moment – and we left. When we went up there to tell them we’d take the deal, the schmuck in the middle looked at it and said “what? He isn’t *supposed* to reduce my fines!” – and yes, he referred to them as *his* fines – before he signed it off and put it in the stack to be processed. I pointed out that, since she didn’t actually BREAK A LAW, they’d come out pretty OK in my book.

The whole experience left me with a very bad taste in my mouth and a VERY low opinion of the city of Dunwoody. What it amounted to was a huge game of “The Price Is Right.” Nothing in that entire proceeding was even remotely related to seeking actual justice. They obviously believed she didn’t do it to have backed off so far, but they didn’t dismiss it. They were all about keeping people from actually GOING to court and extorting money from them with scare tactics. I’ve never seen such a kangaroo court in a real town of any size. I thought that junk was reserved for little one red-light hick towns. Shows what I know.

So, anyhow, it would appear “justice” in Dunwoody, GA has a $100 cover charge. <sigh>

/g