For as long as I can remember I have always been a verbal chameleon. That is, without any conscious effort I conform to those around me. Well, I guess it extends beyond verbal. It extends to facial expression, general posture and physical mannerisms as well. And if I’m exposed to a group of people with similar attributes for any extended period it actually takes a day or two for me to shed the last remnants of that absorbed behavior. Christy tells me that when I come home from a week long trip to Dallas I am decidedly Texan for a day or so.

If you talk to me when I’m “just me” I don’t have any discernible accent, or so I’m told. I may speak a little too fast for all but New Yorkers but I otherwise come off as very Midwest. I’m not though, I’m from the South. The deep South. My only tell is the occasional “y’all” or “fixin’ to” but at least I don’t drawl them.

As soon as I am around someone else, however, I begin to pick up their patterns of speech, vocabulary and mannerisms. It isn’t an overt, over the top imitation, mind you, just a subtle mimicry. Funny thing is, it isn’t something I do consciously and I don’t do it at all with close friends or family. In fact, it is so subconscious that, in the rare instances it has been pointed out to me that I am doing it, I have a hard time recognizing it unless some specific thing I’m doing is singled out.

I’ve heard of other people doing the same thing, though infrequently. At least, not to the degree that I do. And I’ve had people imply or outright say that it is a form of deception but they are way off base. It isn’t even close to that. Even in cases where deception would gain me nothing I still do it. Besides, I think deception is inherently an intentional act. The behavior I’m describing doesn’t cross the conscious plain anywhere.

Several years ago a good friend who majored in theater told me there was a name for it: memisis. It is a greek word that loosely translates to “imitation” but is more accurately defined as “the art of imitation through physical and vocal means.” And the term has some place in theater obviously, but it only partially describes my behavior. Most typically, mimesis is thought of as an intentional imitation unlike my unintentional mimicry. Actors employ the concept and some self-help job books will tell you it is a useful interview tool. If the interviewer leans forward, so do you. If he speaks slowly and softly, so do you. If he smiles, you smile. And so on.

That never quite satisfied me as an answer, though, because it only answered the how, not the why and, to be honest, the why was always the part that puzzled me. Because of that long held curiosity on the subject, I was pleasantly surprised last week when I stumbled on a study entitled “The Chameleon Effect: The Perception-Behavior Link and Social Interaction” that is entirely related to the phenomenon. The principals set out to experimentally evaluate it. As most scientific papers are, it is a bone dry read so I’ll save you the effort and summarize.

The Chameleon Effect is a “nonconscious mimicry of the postures, mannerisms, facial expressions, and other behaviors of one’s interaction partners”, “Mimicking speech patterns, slang, accent, posture, pace, tone and even facial expressions.” Surprisingly, at least to me, the study showed that almost everyone does it. It is just pre-wired human behavior evidently. Most people just do it to a very small degree. It is equated to a form of “social glue” and that makes sense.

But that they found that most people unconsciously mimic those around them in very minor ways is interesting, it doesn’t explain why I do it to the extent I do. Well, the study also found that “dispositionally empathic individuals exhibit the chameleon effect to a greater extent than do other people” and that “the mere perception of another’s behavior automatically increases the likelihood of engaging in that behavior oneself.” Ah-ha. Now we’re getting somewhere.

I believe I am empathetic by nature or, as they put it, dispositionally empathetic so that would likely be a part of it but the second factor they listed was far more interesting to me. That the act of noticing others’ behavior makes you more likely to imitate it is huge in my case. I am a people watcher to a fault. For as long as I can recall I’ve practically studied those around me. Not what they look like but who they are.

I’ve always said that I would make a terrible witness in an investigation because I don’t notice even the most fundamental things about the appearance of others. I can spend a day with a customer and could usually only give you a vague impression of their physical appearance at the end of the day. I might know their hair color, but I am far more likely to have just an impression of light or dark. You can be 100% certain I won’t know their eye color unless they were especially striking. The shape of their face or the line of their nose or mouth? Forget about it. In fact, I can only tell you the eye color of a couple of my coworkers even and I see them every day; and that’s just because they are Finnish and striking blue eyes is a common characteristic among Fins.

Now, if you want to know if someone has a nervous tick or uses some idiosyncratic phrase, I’m your guy. Those are the things I notice about people. Physical characteristics are secondary. My memories are populated with things people said or ways they said them rather than with their hair color or outfit. I will certainly be able to tell you that person x had a warm, open smile but don’t ask me to describe it to a sketch artist.

That lack of attention to physical attributes has landed me in trouble more than a few times, particularly with those of the opposite sex. Failing to notice a girlfriend’s new outfit: bad. Failing to notice her hair color changing: really, really bad. It’s not that I didn’t know her hair color, and I noticed peripherally that something had changed, it just didn’t register enough importance mentally to stop and try to figure out what. As pretty as her hair was, I wasn’t with her for her hair. Oh, and we are talking shades of color, not major color changes in my defense.

As a result, I’ve learned to compensate for that behavior with those closest to me. I consciously take note of my wife’s and kids’ appearances and make sure to comment when something notable changes. Of course, that has backfired a couple of times too. I once complimented my wife on how nice a new outfit looked only to be informed it was not even close to new and that she had worn it several times before. Oops. Guess those were on my off days. Can’t win for losing, I tell ya. If anything, that conscious effort feels closer to deceptive because it feels “put on”, though I know it isn’t. I’m not a total clod, by the way. If Christy looks especially nice I notice it, I just don’t track the little stuff.

So I am relieved to finally have some “closure” on the issue and it is nice to know that I’ve been scientifically proven not to be a freak. Well, at least not on the basis of my mimicry of others. There are likely other criteria I wouldn’t fare so well with, but I digress. So now I have proof that it isn’t an intentionally deceptive act should the need arise and, more importantly, I can stop wondering about it and just go with it. Now, if could just shake this darn southern accent I picked up in Charlotte this week…

/g